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Heart of Dixon

By:Danielle Jamie



“I swear if I never see you again, it'll be too soon.” Brooklyn spits at me as tears stream down her face. She’s standing outside her bedroom door in nothing but a silk robe. Even though I just had a night of hot, wild, no holds bar, meaningless sex with two strangers, I find my dick twitching with desire for her.

I’m an asshole.

She knew this from the start.

I thought we were both on the same page, but now seeing her standing here looking completely devastated, I know that we are not even in the same damn book.

I say nothing.

I just stare at her from across the lavish hallway of my cousin Kayden’s mansion here in the Bahamas, where we’ve come to escape the media circus that is my cousin and his girlfriend Savannah’s lives right now.

There’s no reason in sugar coating it. I’m a world-class douchebag.

For a while, that made Brooklyn want me even more. For a while, our hook ups were working out perfectly. But now I see that I was fooling myself. I should’ve stuck with my original plan to avoid this chick like the plague. Instead, I let my guard down and allowed myself to become trapped in the seductive web that she weaved.

It was hard to tell who the player was and who was being played because we both were in denial that things between us would ever turn serious or get messy. Only now, with me seeing the ‘never take life seriously and never settle down’, Brooklyn shoot daggers at me across the hallway while salty tears zigzag down her cheeks, I know one thing for sure: I’m officially the douchebag who played my cousin’s girlfriend’s best friend and possibly fucked up everything at the worst possible time.

The most fucked up part is while I was screwing the two chicks only five minutes ago I was imagining Brooklyn’s body riding mine and her lips kissing my lips.

She’s here and wanted me. What did I do? I pretended she meant nothing to me. Instead, I went out and found two chicks and brought them back here knowing Brooklyn would flip out and get pissed off at me. Maybe even retaliate by fucking Jax just to spite me. But I still did it anyway.

Like I said, I’m a fucking asshole. The biggest asshole you’ll ever meet. You ask, why did I do it? Why did I bring these girls back here tonight?

Well, that answer is simple. Because I’m a fucking idiot and wanted to hurt her. I want her to hate me. I want her to feel her stomach twist into knots and have disgust consume her when the thought of being with me crosses her mind.

Why? You ask again, would I do this if I want this girl more than any girl I’ve ever met in my life?

The answer is simple…

Because she’s made me fall in love with her.

I don’t do love.

She told me she didn’t do relationships, and sure as hell didn’t do love. Brooklyn told me time and time again that she loves her freedom and loves to fuck. She was totally okay with us hooking up whenever there was no one else around to scratch that itch. But the moment I flew to Los Angeles to be with her, I knew I was in over my head.

The final nail in the coffin was the moment she saw Savannah lying in a hospital bed on life support. She turned to me and crumbled in my arms. She looked to me for comfort, and I gave it to her. That was the worst mistake of my life. At that moment I held her in my arms and told her everything would be okay, I felt my heart stammer in my fucking chest with an ache in it that was so painful, it made it almost impossible to breathe.

At that moment, I felt pain because she was feeling pain. I knew right then and there that I was fucked. I was falling for her. The only way to stop it before we got in too deep was to push her away and make her hate me.

The last thing I ever expected though was to see her walk away from me and straight into the arms of my friend, Jax.

I inhale a painful breath and drop my eyes to the floor before turning the doorknob and entering my bedroom. I shut the door and leave Brooklyn, who is seething with anger, alone on the other side out in the hallway.

Pressing my back against the door, I lean against it and close my eyes as I try to will the piercing pain in my chest to go away. I rub circles against my chest as I wait for the pain to cease. It feels as if someone has punched their way through my ribcage and is squeezing the life out of my heart.

Brooklyn Bennett has fucked up my life.

I’ve turned into a pansy who has to imagine another woman while fucking someone else, just to blow his fucking load, and now I’ve had to try and adapt to the continuous pain in my fucking chest every time I’m around her.

Lord help me. I will get over her and find the Dixon I was before she crashed into my life.

She’s just a chick.

I’m Dixon Fucking Beaumont.

I don’t fall in love.

I fuck.

End. Of. Story.

The only way I’m going to shake this is to avoid Brooklyn and that magic fucking vagina of hers that’s cursed my fucking dick at all costs. Breaking her heart is the last thing I want to do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Chapter One

Brooklyn, Two Weeks Earlier: December 30th, 2012

My head is spinning as I try to climb to my feet. I feel Dixon’s arm’s wrap around my body, holding me tightly against him, as I bury my face into his chest. Tears are falling, one after the other, as I completely break down. I feel as if my entire world if spinning like a top and I’m doing everything in my power to hold on and not get thrown into a world of catastrophic despair.

This feeling is foreign to me. I feel as if I’ve lost all control as tears stream down my face, soaking Dixon’s shirt. I inhale deeply, breathing in his cologne, and find that the smell of him mixed with the feeling of him holding me against him is soothing. My eyes glance momentarily at Savannah. As quickly as I look at her, I have to look away. It’s too hard seeing her like this with tubes coming out of her mouth, and her body hooked up to machines.

I let out a loud sob as my body shakes fiercely.

I never cry.

I can’t even remember the last time I cried.

I’m always the strong one who has always been there beside Savannah, being the rock she needs when life knocks her down.

Sure I’ve teared up while watching a movie with Savannah. But this is a 'make your eyes and head pound and your stomach twist into tight knots' kind of cry. I’m one tear away from turning into a snotty blubbering mess.

It feels as if my heart has been snatched from my chest and my lungs have been filled with cement, making it physically impossible to breathe. I force low shallow breaths in between my cries as I walk, clutching Dixon, as I make my way towards Savannah.

He slowly sits in a chair beside her bed pulling me down onto his lap. I faintly hear footsteps growing louder with every step they take. Within seconds, I hear them enter the room. The sound of Kayden’s voice pulls me out of the fog I’ve been lost in since we boarded the plane to fly to Houston.

“You made it.” His voice sounds lost and broken.

I lift my red swollen eyes up to his and see the pain on his face and recognize the bloodshot eyes. They look like mine. Red from hours of crying. It makes my heart slam on its breaks and momentarily stop beating before speeding up and slamming hard and fast against my ribcage.

Kayden is always this laid back guy who appears so strong. That no matter what happens, he’s the rock everyone turns to for support. He’s been amazing to Savannah. She needs a guy like him. Someone who's a shoulder to lean on when shit gets crazy. So seeing Kayden now, appearing so defeated and worn down, makes the knot in my stomach tightened to the point I felt nauseous. It can’t be good if Kayden looks this broken.

I climb to my feet, leaving the safe comfort of Dixon’s arms, and run to Kayden and embrace him. “She has to be okay, Kayden.” I sob as he hugs me lightly. Backing away from him, I gaze up at him, searching his face looking for even the slightest sign of hope. Though I see nothing but sadness and emptiness in his usual glimmering green eyes.

He rakes both hands through his hair, letting out a loud sigh, before stepping around me and making his way over to Savannah. She looks so tiny in the hospital bed. She has cuts all over her arms and face from the broken glass. Kayden told Dixon that her car rolled down an embankment. I’m just grateful she’s alive. As long as she’s alive, there’s hope that she’ll pull through this tragedy.

Her eyes are closed, and there’s a breathing tube coming out of her mouth. She has a lot of gauze wrapped around her head from the emergency surgery she had to relieve the pressure on her brain.

Kayden takes her left hand in his as I walk around her bed and take a seat on the opposite side of her bed. I gently take her right hand in mine and let out another sob as I hold her cool hand that feels lifeless as it lays limply in the palm of my hand.

Finally, Kayden breaks the silence by speaking quietly. “The doctors said right now it’s touch and go. They’ll monitor her and make sure she has no more swelling of the brain. As for the coma, they have no timeframe for when she could wake up. They told me it could be anywhere from a few hours to a few months. There’s no way to tell for sure. All I know is that they said it’s a way for her body to try and heal from the damage her body has received because of the accident.”

I tighten my grip on Savannah’s hand as I bring my other hand to cover my mouth while trying to hold back my cry. It’s extremely late, and we’re so grateful the staffed allowed us to come in here with her. I don’t want to get us kicked out. I need to be here with her, letting her know I’ll be by her side until she wakes up.